The Career Conversation You're Not Having (But Should Be)

There are so many vehicles for growth in our lives—love, career, friendships, for example. And like all of them, the less static they are, the better off you will be. That doesn’t make it easy, but it makes it more enriching.
Think about love for a minute. It can be one of the clearest mirrors we have for growth.

Take this quote from Mary McCarthy:
“What’s the use of falling in love if you both remain inertly as-you-were?”

What does that mean? You’re a dynamic human, and so is your partner. You can’t take anything for granted. You have to check in with each other regularly to see how the other is doing, what they’re feeling, and how they’re changing.
The same principle applies to your work. Because your career is a living thing, too—one that needs tending, curiosity, and a willingness to evolve.

If you remain inertly as you are in your career, you’ll stagnate and fall behind. And in this wild and unpredictable job market, that’s the last thing you need.

Like any relationship, though, we have a tendency to put our careers on autopilot. Routines become comforting, and robotic. Your purpose becomes less and less clear. And just like in relationships, this is when the restlessness starts to whisper.

Here's what I want you to know: if you're feeling this restlessness, it means your professional instincts are working perfectly.

When Your Career Starts Sending Signals

The restlessness starts quietly. Maybe it's the Sunday evening feeling that's gotten heavier. Maybe it's catching yourself daydreaming about different work during meetings. Or maybe it's that growing sense that you're sleepwalking through days that once felt purposeful.

This disconnection from your purpose isn't a personal failing; it's a signal that your career relationship needs attention.

Think about it: when a romantic relationship starts feeling distant, you don't ignore it and hope it improves. You have a conversation. You check in. You ask the hard questions about what's working and what isn't.

Your Career Needs the Same Honest Communication

The most successful professionals treat their careers like any important relationship. They check in regularly. They don't take growth for granted. They communicate their changing needs rather than expecting their work—or their trusted peers—to read their minds.

But here's where most people get stuck: they know they need change, but they haven't learned how to communicate with their career the way they would with a partner.

How can you have that conversation with your work?

Three Ways to Have Career Conversations That Create Growth

First, reflect on what fits now. Just like you might ask a partner "How are we doing?,” you need to ask your career the same honest questions. But here's what I want you to know: this isn't about creating a pro-and-con list or making dramatic decisions overnight.

Start here: What aspects of my work still energize me when I'm doing them? What tasks make me lose track of time? What meetings do I actually look forward to? On the flip side, what feels heavy or draining? What responsibilities make you want to hit the snooze button on Monday morning?

Pay attention to your energy, not just your performance. You might be excellent at something that completely wipes you out. That's valuable information about who you're becoming and what kind of work fits the person you are now, not the person you were when you first took this role.

Second, start telling the story of who you're becoming. In relationships, you share your dreams, your evolving interests, your changing perspectives. Your career deserves the same honest communication about your growth.

This means updating your professional narrative in real time. Maybe you've developed a passion for mentoring junior colleagues—start talking about that in team meetings. Maybe you've been reading about industry trends that excite you—share those insights with your network. Maybe you've discovered you're energized by cross-functional projects—volunteer for the next one that comes up.

Here's the thing: you don't have to wait for a new job to start being the professional you're becoming. Talk about new skills you're developing in conversations with colleagues. Share articles about topics that fascinate you, even if they're adjacent to your current role.

Third, invite conversation rather than hiding the shift. Most of us have been conditioned to keep our career uncertainty private—as if exploring new directions is somehow disloyal or unprofessional. But here's what I've learned: treating your professional evolution like a secret actually limits your growth.

This will feel vulnerable at first, but here's what I've discovered: most people want to help when you're honest about your professional curiosity. Let trusted colleagues know you're exploring new directions. Seek out coffee chats or informational interviews with people whose careers intrigue you. Find professional groups or attend industry events in areas that spark your interest.

The beautiful thing about treating your career like a living relationship is that it responds to attention. When you tend to it with intention and honest communication, it grows in directions that surprise and fulfill you.

You already have everything you need to start these conversations. You've been navigating relationships your whole life. Now it's time to bring that same wisdom to your career.

Here's the thing—your career doesn't need you to have all the answers right now. It just needs you to start asking the right questions and be willing to listen to what you discover.

What conversation does your career need from you right now? I'd love to hear how you're cultivating your professional growth in the comments below.

I’m Richard Taliaferro. I’m a certified career coach specializing in helping mid-stage professionals gain clarity on their career journey. I’ve written a guide on how to escape the work hamster wheel. Click here to download yours.