Meghan DeFord: When You've Changed, But Haven't Made the Changes Yet

Here's the strange part of a career transition nobody warns you about: nothing has to be an inferno for something to feel off.

The job is still respectable. The résumé still makes sense. The title still earns a knowing nod at the dinner party. And yet, something inside has quietly shifted.

I recently sat down with Meghan DeFord, my friend and co-host on our podcast Scrambled Eggs, and she said the line that's been rattling around in my head ever since: "I had changed, but I hadn't made changes."

That's it; that's the whole thing right there. So many of us live in that space for years before we admit it.

Why Noticing the Gap Already Counts

Here's what I want you to know: the fact that you can feel that gap means you're paying attention. Most people spend years not noticing the distance between who they've become and the life still running on autopilot. You are noticing. That's the first move most people never make.

Meghan’s road to get there wasn’t easy. A layoff and a divorce landed within weeks of each other, both over Zoom, in the middle of a pandemic. Up until then, her plan had been clear: keep climbing in philanthropy, eventually lead the alumni association at the University of Maryland, her alma mater. Everything pointed there. It was a good plan. The plan a younger version of her had every reason to choose.

But that plan belonged to an earlier version of her. And once she got knocked off it, she had to reckon with something quieter than the layoff itself: she had already been outgrowing it.

Values Travel. Titles Don't.

This is where Meghan's coaching frame is sharp. Values aren't abstract Pinterest words. They show up on your calendar. They show up in where your energy goes—and where it leaks out.

When she really looked at it, she wasn't attached to fundraising itself. She was attached to community. To impact. To leaving things better than she found them.

Those values didn't disappear when the job did. They just needed somewhere new to live.

That might be the most underrated move in any career transition. Stop asking what job comes next and start asking which of my values has been quietly underfed? The first question gets you a title. The second one gets you a life.

You Can Begin Without Burning Anything Down

Here's where Meghan's philosophy and mine meet: you don't have to blow up the life you built to start listening to it.

Her work with clients is about going after big goals without setting fire to the whole thing. Bills still get paid. Lunches still get made. Life keeps moving. The pivot isn't a single dramatic moment—it's a series of quiet, honest choices.

Maybe you're thinking the only "real" change is the dramatic one—the resignation email, the cross-country move, the cliff jump that makes a good story at parties. Those ideas, though, are a trap. The dramatic leap usually isn't bravery; it's impatience dressed up as courage. And it tends to skip the part where you actually figure out what you're moving toward, not just what you're running from.

Maybe yours starts with a values check-up. Maybe it starts with noticing what drains you on Tuesday afternoons and what lights you up on Saturday mornings. Maybe it's one conversation with someone whose path you've been quietly admiring.

Each small move builds the evidence that you can trust yourself with the next one. That's how confidence actually grows—not in a leap, but in a stack.

The Question That Actually Moves You Forward

The surface question in any transition is what should I do? The deeper one is the one most of us avoid: Who am I now, and what life actually fits that person?

You don't have to know the full answer to begin. You just have to stop pretending you don't notice the question.

What's one part of your career or life that still belongs to an older version of you? Drop it in the comments—naming it out loud is more powerful than you'd think.

I’m Richard Taliaferro. I’m a certified career coach specializing in helping mid-stage professionals gain clarity on their career journey. I’ve written a guide on how to escape the work hamster wheel. Click here to download yours.