Why Your First Move After a Layoff Should Be…No Move At All

If you're reading this days or weeks after a layoff, you're already showing the curiosity that will guide your next chapter.

I was two days out from my layoff at the Wall Street Journal when I launched my coaching practice.

Two whole days.

Friends called it inspiring. "Look at you, hitting the ground running!"

Here's what they didn't see: I'd been preparing for that moment for seven years. The inner work, the certification, the slow acceptance that a new chapter was starting—all of that happened long before HR scheduled that final Zoom call.

But, if I had to do it all over again, I would have paused a little longer before jumping in.

Why Your Timeline for Healing Matters More Than You Think

I recently spoke with Steve Jaffe, author of "The Layoff Journey," who's navigated four layoffs across his career. Steve said something that made me stop and reconsider my own experience: "If you make the mistake of immediately firing off resumes before you've processed that grief, it's going to show up in unexpected ways."

Think about it: After his first layoff in 2001, Steve spent 18 months cycling through denial, anger, and depression. By his fourth layoff in 2023? He moved through those same stages in weeks, not months.

The difference wasn't just resilience. It was wisdom.

He'd learned to pause.

And here's what this means for you: Understanding this can save you months of misdirected effort, painful interviews where your anger has its own seat at the table, and the crushing disappointment of accepting the wrong role just to escape the free fall.

Why Your Panic Is Lying to You (And What to Do Instead)

I know what you're thinking, and I've felt it, too: "But Richard, I can't afford to pause. I have bills. I have responsibilities."

You're absolutely right to feel the urgency—your instincts aren't wrong, they're just incomplete.

Here's the thing—that racing mind at 2 AM, updating your resume with shaking hands, firing off LinkedIn messages that sound desperate, even to you? That feels like progress, but it's actually panic steering the ship.

When you're drowning, any movement feels like swimming toward shore. But what if you're actually swimming further out to sea? What if the most productive thing you could do right now is float for a moment, catch your breath, and figure out where the shore actually is?

I need you to hear this next part: The pause isn't procrastination. It's preparation.

What Really Happens When You Skip the Healing

You've just experienced a professional death. Those aren't my words—researchers have found that job loss triggers the same grief cycle as losing a loved one.

When you skip the pause, that unprocessed grief shows up everywhere:

• In interviews where you can't explain why you left without your voice catching

• In networking conversations that feel forced because you're performing "I'm fine" when you're not

• In accepting the wrong role because anything feels better than this free fall

Steve shared how this played out in his own experience: "If you bring it into your job, you bring in that unexpected 'oh my gosh, the shoe could drop at any moment' kind of stress and anxiety that will manifest itself in ways that you can't control."

You're not weak for feeling this. You're human. And acknowledging these feelings is actually the first sign of the strength that will carry you forward.

The 40% Club: Why Your Layoff Isn't Personal

Ready for a number that changed how I see layoffs?

As Steve revealed in our conversation: "About 40% of all Americans have been laid off at least once in their career."

Let that sink in. You're not alone. You're not broken. You didn't fail some cosmic test.

You're in the 40% club—a club nobody asks to join but almost half of us belong to. Knowing this statistic changes everything about how you see your situation.

Steve pointed out something that really stuck with me: "Facebook laid off 14,000 employees. There's no way there were 14,000 substandard employees. If you're working at Facebook, you're probably one of the exceptional people."

Sometimes it's not about you. Sometimes it's just Tuesday in corporate America—and that's oddly liberating to understand.

Your Three-Step Pause Strategy (That Actually Works)

So if you're not frantically job hunting, what should you do? When I asked Steve for specific advice, he offered these three strategies that will help you emerge stronger, not just employed:

First, as Steve says, "pause and just feel." Give yourself permission to feel the anger, the sadness. Set a timer. Write it out. This isn't wallowing—it's processing. You can't heal what you won't feel.

Second, "take inventory of your strengths and your support." Steve specifically suggests: "Make a list of your wins, your big wins, your small wins. Reach out to friends, mentors, colleagues. Remind yourself that you're more than a job title."

Third, "give yourself something to do." As Steve explains, "Motion feels like progress," but channel it wisely. Start that morning walk routine. Finally organize that closet. These small wins matter, even when they're not on LinkedIn.

The Gift You'll Only Find in the Stillness

Stay with me here, because this matters: Without the pause, we tend to recreate exactly what we just left.

Same dysfunction, different logo. Same burnout, different Slack channel. Same Sunday night dread, different parking lot.

The pause isn't just about healing. It's about preventing yourself from jumping into another situation that will have you back here in 18 months.

What if this pause is actually preparation for something better?

That pressure you feel to move immediately? That's not wisdom. That's fear.

And fear is a terrible career counselor.

I've watched this pattern play out countless times: Those who give themselves permission to pause—really pause—find opportunities that align with who they're becoming, not just who they were. They negotiate from a place of clarity, not desperation. They choose roles that energize rather than merely employ them.

You've already survived 100% of your worst days. This pause? It's not your ending—it's your beginning.

What's one thing you wish you'd given yourself permission to feel or do after a layoff? Or if you're in that pause right now, what's the hardest part about sitting still? Hit REPLY and let me know—your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.

And if you're in that pause right now, feeling that pressure to move before you're ready—I see you. The work that works for you is worth waiting for.

I’m Richard Taliaferro. I’m a certified career coach specializing in helping mid-stage professionals gain clarity on their career journey. I’ve written a guide on how to escape the work hamster wheel. Click here to download yours.